Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Breaking Up

You all have been an amazing support group and I feel like I owe it to you to explain why I'm suddenly absent from the blog. Nate and I ended things just shy of our four-year anniversary. I'm a wreck. I can't breathe. I feel like everything is crumbling around me. And I'm even hesitant to post this because it makes it all more real. It would have been easier if we fought, but we didn't. We're still in love with each other, but neither one of us thinks we're "the one" for each other. He's perfect. Just not perfect for me. And I really wish he was.

I can't stop crying.

67 comments:

  1. Sweetie,
    I'm super new to your blog but just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you.

    http://www.livingwaters.com/good/

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  2. Ohhh,sweetie. I am so sorry! If you need someone to talk to, please let me know. I know it must be very hard right now. Take your time, darling. We are here for you!
    Im sending you huge

    Kisses

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  3. Jessica, I am so so sorry. break ups are so tough. but it does free you up to meet "the one". the future will be bright sweet heart.
    big hugs to you
    xxxooo

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  4. Oh my goodness, that must be so hard for you. We're all here. Take your time.

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  5. Oh Jessica, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I am so glad that you shared with us and I hope that we can help you through it all. I am sending you big hugs Sweetie. xx

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  6. Ohh I'm so sorry. A breakup like that feels more like losing a best friend than a boy friend, and I know how rough that can be.
    Giving you a big hug.
    -Lydia

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  7. I don't even really know you but I just have to say I love you! Everything will be okay! i ended it with my ex at four and a half years, walked away and it hurt like hell I was crying for about a week. It took me a month to soothe myself out but about 3 months to recover properly. It is hard but remember you will get there! It is hard to be friends straight afterwards but give it time, dont try to be friends straight away, wait a whiel then come back when you are ready. Indulge yourself. Take your mind off him and focus on yourself, make big plans and goals for yourelf, be open minded and explore and turn to optimistic ideals. Pictures or music that make you happy. IT will take time but it's okay, it will work!!!
    ♥♥♥♥

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  8. I am sorry. i've been going through relationship ups and downs with my husband - i'm right now debating on trying to work things out - we've been separtated for almost a year now, and he feels like he's changed, but he's got to prove it to me - but he'll be deployed in December (he's active duty army) so i dunno. as others have said - it'll take time. time is your friend. just take one day at a time. i know it being a mutual thing doesn't make it easier - you'd rather the huge blow-out fight. but if you have realized that he isn't the one for you - then you know that there is one out there for you. i am a firm believer that there is one person for everyone - and it's a matter of patience in finding that person. i wish i could hug you. i have escaped with my blog and let it out. i have twitter friends around the world that have helped me immensely!! so let your friends be there for you - that's what friends are for. i have been there for my friends - calls at 1am so she can vent! i may be tired, but i know it was worth it as she's much better the next day. i hope you have friends or family that can be there for you!!!! if you want to chat - i'm sure you know how to contact a fellow blogger - or my twitter is deanna1079

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  9. Oh my gosh I'm so sorry!!! I know what you mean, the same thing happened to me (sorta...it wasn't 4 years and not because we weren't 'the ones' but yea...basically the same)
    Just take some time to yourself and try to get happy!! I'm sure things will get better soon, it will just take time...
    *hugs and sends good vibes*

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  10. Aww Hunnie...I know we tweeted this morning, but again, email me of youd like to talk....everything happens for a reason....and it will work out best for you in the end.

    Stop by and say Hello ♥
    Enter my Awesome ModCloth Giveaway

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  11. I'm so sorry, take all the time you need and take care of you. Sending you hugs and prayers! xoxo

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  12. *sigh* I'm sorry, buddy. It hurts and will hurt, but the pain will fade.

    And since I'm sure you're doing the right thing, don't have any regrets. Some of life is painful, but you're heading in the right direction. Hang in there.

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  13. nooo, wait! My heart just sunk for you... I know the horrible feeling. Look at it this way... Break Up Diet ;) The beauty in all this is the unknown, the unknown of what the future holds for you.

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  14. Oh I am so sorry...this sounds like an extremely grown-up decision and one that I am completely fearful of having to face. You are incredibly strong for doing this. Thinking of you...

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  15. ohh sweetie I'm so sorry, big hugs!

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  16. I'm sorry :( I know how hard breakups are :/ Hugs!

    norma
    norma-inthisworld.blogspot.com.

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  17. I know this may not sound helpful right now but eventually maybe you can look at it like I do. I feel we are given people in our lives to grow from them or for them to grow from us and then we move on and they are replaced with someone else who needs us or we need them. Take from it what you loved and build on that. Dont blame each other. Simply look at it as if its time for you to allow God to give you someone else.

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  18. oh, my heart aches for you...hugs!

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  19. That is the worst! So sorry. :(

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  20. Oh dear, I am so sorry, breaking up is never easy... I hope time will eventually heal the pain... take care dear and LOVE, always...
    J
    xoxo

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  21. Oh, I know how you feel. It is true that someone can be perfect, but not perfect for you. Take comfort that neither of you will "settle" for less than you deserve. When you don't compromise or take the "easy way" (which could be staying in a relationship), God can give you more than what you imagine!

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  22. I wish you all the strengh, love from your family and friends, and positivity to go through this. I am truly sorry, I can imagine how difficult it must be.
    xoxo
    www.joiedevivre-chiara.blogspot.com

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  23. Oh Jessica I am so sorry! Breakups are so awful and crushing and I hate to see a sweetheart like you going through one :( Just know that if you need friends, your blog friends are here for you and I bet many, many of us (unfortunately) know the pain you feel right now and would be there for you if you need anything. Take time for yourself right now and do what you need to do to feel better.
    <3

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  24. Oh my gosh, I am so so sorry, Jessica! I know how crushing it can feel and breakups are never easy, no matter what the circumstance! Lean on all your lovely support system - many of us in the blogworld have (sadly) walked that walk. Take all the time you need, and take good care of yourself, OK?

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  25. hang in there - it WILL get better with time. sounds like you were mature enough to make that decision and that in itself is totally commendable. take all the time you need!

    xx

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  26. Jessica, I am so sorry! Know that you are loved and thank you for letting us know. Praying for you, friend. Take all the time you need.
    Much love,
    B

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  27. Oh no Jessica, that must be so so hard. I'm so sorry! Big hugs to you.

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  28. O my...such a sad sad news darling.....i wish i could help you two.......wishing you streingth !! and lot of love......biggg hugs from me.....xxxxxx.......i will pray for you both !!!.........love Ria......

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  29. It's brave to be true to your heart. This is the worst part, hang in there and be kind to yourself.

    www.adventuresindressingmyself.blogspot.com

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  30. Awww...Jessica I'm so sorry to hear about your breakup. I imagine this is hard right now; especially with the holidays looming. But maybe it's for the best. If you need anything, please let me know. My heart goes out to you right now. :(

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  31. Jessica! I'm sorry honey. I know how much pain you must be in. I remember feeling that way and there's nothing anyone can say that will make it better. You just have to feel it. And feel all of it so that it doesn't come out sideways later in life. My thoughts are with you. I'm giving you a virtual hug! ((Jessica))

    xo,
    Tracy

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  32. Jessica, I feel like I know you and Nate through this blog. So, no advice. Just, I'm so sorry. We are all here for you.

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  33. I'm so sorry, sweetheart! I wish I could give you a big hug! I'm here for you if you need anything! xoxo Candi

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  34. Jessica,
    There will be many days and nights of sadness because only time will heal. But you should always remember that you will make it out of this and you will be stronger than ever. Us women can do anything by ourselves and that includes surviving bumps in the road such as this. You WILL find the one for you, I just know it ;)

    xo Lynzy

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  35. Sorry to hear that, well life must go on and I'm sure someday you'll found the perfect one for you and only just for you.

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  36. I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. If there's anything I can do I would love to help. You're a brave person for sharing this with us and we're here for you.

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  37. ugh... I am so sorry. That feeling is the worst. Just know it will all be okay, and turn out for the best in the long run. Keep your chin up!

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  38. oh honey, i'm so sorry. really, my heart goes out to you. i totally and completely understand what you're talking about from my personal point of view. it's going to be okay hun, let it out, cry it out, and i promise you it'll all be okay.

    kendall

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  39. I'm so, so sorry. Hang in there and let me know if you need anything!

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  40. Oh so sorry dearie. :( You will get through this, you are not alone.

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  41. Awww, I am so sorry to hear this. There are probably no words that are going to make you feel better, but I always go back to this quote..
    "there are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life."

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  42. Everything happend for a reason...Really sorry to hear this news...I'll keep you in my prayers, keep your head up and know that everything will be okay :) xoxo

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  43. I'm so sorry! Four years is a long time, and it's definitely tough to try to move on. But it sounds like you both did it for good reasons, and you will certainly find someone meant for you! Hugs!

    Lorispeak

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  44. Jessica - I am so so so sorry for you :( There is nothing I can say to make it better, but know that there are so many people thinking about you and sending well wishes your way.

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  45. oh, what a hard decision- I hope you have a good cuddly group of friends to rally around.

    warm hugs from us in the virtual world.

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  46. I'm so sorry. This is one of those situations that there really are no words, because anything you say ends up sounding trite--even if in hindsight it ends up being true (time healing all wounds, a door closing and another opening and all that).

    I'm just really sorry you're going through this right now. xo

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  47. :( So sorry...that's a long time, and I'm sure things must be difficult right now. Thinking about you!

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  48. oh my gosh. my heart hurts reading this. i'm so sorry. this is the first time i've commented...but still, if you need an ear to talk into... i'll be here.

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  49. Oh Jessica my dear, my heart goes out to you. I'll write you an e-mail soon.

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  50. so sorry for you! you need to be strong! we're all with you!

    xoxo from rome
    K.
    http://kcomekarolina.blogspot.com/

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  51. Jessica, I'm so so sorry. This exact thing happened to me with my ex of 5.5 years. No fighting, just over. I will be completely honest when I say the first 2-3 weeks were terrible. Couldn't sleep, eat (lost 15 lbs and it was gross) but it got better after that. I threw myself into my friendships, family and just got busy with other things like yoga, working out, etc.

    It took me about 10 months to totally come to terms with everything and happily take the next step forward. Now I look back and realize that it was the BEST thing that could have ever happened to me. You will reach this point. It will take you time, and yes, you will stumble. But you will get there. Everyone will have opinions for you about what to do/not do but you can only trust yourself and sometimes you'll regret if you do something. You're human.

    Always remember that YOU'LL BE OK. You will meet a man who will be your perfect match and this will all seem so far away and insignificant. I promise.

    Keep your chin up and if you ever need to vent, whatever, just email me. Pursuitofllt@gmail.com

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  52. Take time for yourself. I think you are so amazingly courageous because you allowed yourself to be honest enough to realize that although you love him, he wasn't the one. That takes quite a lot of honesty and maturity to do. <3

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  53. My heart aches for you right now but you are so brave to follow your heart. Don't despair JOY will come in the morning <3

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  54. Jess I'm so so sorry! This really sucks. But you are so mature for admitting that it wasn't the right relationship. I know maturity is cold comfort at the moment, but you will feel better with time. Take some time to heal. May I suggest movies, Ben and Jerry's, and lots of quality time with your friends and family. xo

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  55. Hi Jessica,

    I'm also a Jessica. I just came accross your blog and I love it. I am your newest follower. I hope I am not being too personal here, seeing as I have never commented before and I have not followed your blog until now. But I just wanted to say that I feel your pain. Two years ago, I found out that the man I married (and was married to for 6 months) cheated on me with over five women. I was heart broken and torn up. Although that pain was horrible, I realized that there was a little bit in me that always knew he was perhaps not 'the one' for me. After about a year or so I met THE most amazing man who is without a doubt THE one. I share my little story with you in hopes that you can confirm with yourself that it was for the best. So many people stay with eachother even though they know that their spouse may not be THE one. You are feeling pain but I bet you totally avoided an even harder situation. I totally commend you and your bravery. I hope your tears eventually go away and you smile again :)

    Jessica

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  56. This is my first time visiting your blog and I love it. I am so sorry about your break up. You will get through it, be strong!

    I am now following you.
    Can you follow me too?
    omgitstiffduh.blogspot.com/

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  57. Jessica I am just seeing this now and have been staring at it for more than a couple minutes trying to find just the right words.

    I hope you are okay. I know you will be. I'm sending you an email.

    And massive amounts of hugs. And chocolate.

    xoxo,
    Carrie

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  58. Jessica, I am so sorry to hear you are in so much pain. Hang in there and know that you will be in my prayers. xo

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  59. Aw - breakups are the pits :( Feel better, girl!

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  60. Breaking up is so so sucky! But you'll see later that it wasn't meant to be and I know you'll find better!

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  61. Oh jeez, I just saw this. I've been there and it's truly awful. It does get better, but I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

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  62. So very sorry to hear this. You poor thing, I hope you are okay - breakups are very painful. Big hug x

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  63. Oh Jessica! I'm so, so sorry to hear this. As someone who is freshly emerging from a breakup, too, I can commiserate with you 100%. Hopefully things are getting easier, day by day. You seem like a wonderful person, and there's no doubt that you will be able to emerge from this in a good place, with the help of your social supports and doing the things that make life wonderful to you. Don't hesitate to get in touch if you'd like. Hang in there, and know that this awful mourning phase will help you to achieve a better sense of closure and happiness in the long run.

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  64. I'm so behind Jessica, and just seeing this! I'm so sorry for what you must be going through! I have a friend that went through the very same thing. They broke up, but realized after some time apart that they WERE the one for each other! Maybe you just need time apart to gain clarity, or maybe you already have confirmation that it's time to move on. Either way, it's never easy to walk away from someone you still care about.

    Sending you a big hug Jess!

    xoxo,
    Bren

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  65. Oh Jessica, I can tell you it gets better, much much better. You are in my thoughts, contact me anytime if you need support.

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Thanks for commenting - each one means a lot!

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